If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
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Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Vote:
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked.
"You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says.
"Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?"
The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Vote:
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend".
"Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"?
After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"?
A: They want to watch their asses.
Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
A man walks into a sperm Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.