Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
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"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
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When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The dashboard.
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When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic?
He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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