Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards.
"What denomination?" asks the postal clerk.
Mary thinks a second before replying, "Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."
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When I arrived at a hotel in order to fill in my identities I noticed the word "sex" so I wrote: YES PLEASE.
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Instead of saying, "And here's your receipt," cashiers should say, "Will you throw this away for me?"
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I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale.
They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.
So I asked the owner if he had a pair.
He shook his head.
"I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."
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I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company.
One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh.
The procedure required him to delete an old file.
On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted.
I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash.
Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash."
Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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Joke has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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Joke has 84.60 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store.
She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little "accident!" she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price."
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A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally, I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
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A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv."
The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv."
Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So she left again and came back with her hair dyed black and said: "I want that tv."
But the salesman still said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How'd you know I was a blonde?!" she asked.
The salesman answered: "Cause that's a microwave."
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While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes.
The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"