Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb must really want to change.
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Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?"
Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour."
Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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Patient: "Doctor, I feel there are two of me."
Doctor: "Very well, I shall see you, one at a time."
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?"
Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine."
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this."
Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What sort of answer did you have in mind?
A: None - just assume it's changed.
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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
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A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.
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