I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
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On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.
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Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
A: A teacher.
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Johny has lately written a short email to his brother while asking him only one question in this email:
Hi brother, I am writing to you, I only would like to know, tell me:
How is your fianceé?
The Johny´s brother reply was only:
Hi John, her brother is doing well.
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"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me."
"Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?"
"Scissors," I replied.
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Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.
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Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
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English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?"
Student: "Future impossible tense."
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The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
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Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan?
A: We have to stop meating like this.
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