Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case.
"Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other."
"Okay, you first," replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news."
"What's the bad news?" asks the accused.
"The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it."
"What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is 130."
Vote:
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers?
A: Because after they die, they lie still.
Vote:
A lawyer has just settled down in his new office.
So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients.
After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office.
Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action.
So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you."
He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?"
"Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness.
He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer.
"How's it going?", someone asked.
"Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
Vote:
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Vote:
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal.
Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet.
Of course, they should at the court.
Vote:
The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with
pictures of favorite lawyers on them.
The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water!
Q: Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock?
A: Time will tell.
Vote: