The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?"
"That way", the student pointed.
''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said:
"Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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