How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
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Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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A boy speeding on road.
Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?"
The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined.
“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!”, retorted the officer.
“You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”
“Oh no!”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.
“Where’s my Rolex???!!!”
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
Q: How many divorce attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It only takes one divorce attorney to change your light bulb to his light bulb.
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A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license. Now today you want me to show it to you!”
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb must really want to change.
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