Joke #2849

Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, life, time
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Things our family enjoys together without anyone complaining: 1.
Vote: has 83.29 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, life
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, age, old people, viagra, sex
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil.
Vote: has 85.10 % from 188 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took our advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house
Vote: has 87.12 % from 299 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, doctor, health, work, medical
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, celebrity
A pastor was caught stealing in the church by a member of the church. This was the conversation between them Pastor: Blessed are those who see and don't talk. Member: For they shall receive their share. Amen.
Vote: has 85.98 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, church
Mary's father has 5 daughters, 1. Nana 2. Nono 3. Nini 4. Nene What is the fifth daughters name?
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, dad, kids