Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!" "I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there." The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is." "Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!" "Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Air Force Approach: "Eagle 13, turn right to 330." Eagle 13: "Roger 330." App: "Eagle 13, I've been working since last night, Will you do me a favor?" Eagle 13: "Affirmative. Go ahead." App: "Down below on your right, you'll see a base house with yellow roof near the lake. That is my house. I had a fight with my Wife, and I'm worried she might take it out on my Harley. Do you see a Harley Davidson near the house?" Eagle 13: "Negative sir. Instead I can see a Ryder's truck."
Q: What are the three rings of marriage? A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
Marriage is not a lottery – you get a chance in a lottery.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
My wife keeps telling me I shouldn’t pee in the bath – or if I really have to I should at least wait till she gets out.
A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister. "What are you doing?" he asks. "Warming up your dinner."
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.