A boy tells his friend that he has a crush on his teacher. The second boy says, ‘Man, that is disgusting.’ The first boy says, ‘What? Everyone has a crush on their teacher.’ The second boy says, ‘Yeah, but you’re home-schooled.’
A student went to class late, so the teacher asked him, "Why are you late?" He told her, "I was dreaming of a Manchester United football match." But that did not make any sense for the teacher so she ask, "Still why are you late?" He answered, "Because there was extra time."
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course”, comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Scotland”, replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Scotland too! Let’s have another round to Scotland.” “Of Course”, replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Scotland are you from?” “Aberdeen”, comes the reply. “I can’t believe it”, says the first man. “I’m from Aberdeen too! Let’s have another drink to Aberdeen.” “Of course”, replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?” “Saint Andrews”, replies the second man. “I graduated in ’62.” “This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Andrews and graduated in ’62, too!” About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s been going on?”, he asks the bartender “Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The MacClyde twins are drunk again.”, because there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”anisms.
This guy went to school and he asked "May I use the bathroom?" The teacher replied, " no not unless you say your abc's." The guy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher asked "Where's the p? He replied, " running down my leg!"
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up...
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
Q: What's long and hard on a blackman? A: The first grade.
A private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers... and then there are educators.