A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar.
He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey.
How about you and me getting it on?
I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’
The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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What do you say to a virgin?
Thanks for nothing!
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son's room.
She showed it to her husband when he got home.
He handed it back to her without a word.
She asked him, "Well, what do we do about this?"
"Well, whatever you do, don't spank him."
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Q: What did dick say to rubber?
A: "Cover me I'm going in."
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Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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Two girlfriends meet again after a few years.
One is pushing around a baby buggy.
The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed.
"Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?"
Murmurs the other woman.
"Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do?
Look up old friends.
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation.
"Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man.
"No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.