How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff.
A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on.
They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation.
The redhead goes first.
She jumps and says "eagle!".
She turns into an eagle and flies away.
The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.
The sing said: Disneyland Left.
So they started crying and headed home.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut Seeds.
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends.
One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.
When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere.
Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!"
St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven."
This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time.
St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.
John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?"
"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade?
A: Because she's 21.
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in the ninth grade; which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she is the only one that's 18.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside.
He says, "I will grant you three wishes."
The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear."
The genie replies, "Your wish is my command."
Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"