Q: What comes before 8? A: My school bus usually.
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic." Father: "Why?" Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'" Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" Father: "What's the fucking difference?" Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Student: I don’t know. Why? Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!
Teacher: Why are you late? Ramu: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign? Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Teacher: Students draw a picture of bacteria. Student: Here it is Mam! Teacher: Where? It Is Blank. Student: you told that bacteria cannot be seen with naked eye!
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"