A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first? The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M's factory? A: She threw away all of the "W's".
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library." The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
What does a blonde say after having sex? What team do you guys play for?
A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings! She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?" The fireman says, "No!" The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up? A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.