Joke #5235

A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."

Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.

One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. The hiker ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, "What happened to you?" The tied up man began to tell him, "I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he held me up. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree." The hiker unzipped his fly and said, "Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?"

Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chest nuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth

Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?" Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"

Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?

I don't know whats happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. Its a nightmare... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!