A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde? A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!" The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?" The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training. As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away. Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use. Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse. Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again. Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
There are three blondes on an island. A genie says they can only have one wish t get themselfs off. The first says" I wish I was smart" so she turns into a red head and swims off the island. The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away. The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge.
How do blonde brain cells die? Alone!
A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it.... Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?" Blonde: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65." Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!" Blonde: "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on." At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts. Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful." Blonde: "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...