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How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy.
She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until...
...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away.
Moral Lessons
1. Be kind to Animals
2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear.
He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him.
After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires.
When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll [insert appropriate colloquialism for sodomy here].”
The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers and bends over; and the bear does what he said he would do.
After the bear has left, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers back into town.
He’s pretty mad.
He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest.
He sees the same bear, aims, and fires.
When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.”
Afterward, the hunter pulls up his trousers, crawls back into town, and buys a bazooka.
Now he’s really mad.
He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires.
The force of the bazooka blast knocks him flat on his back.
When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says, “You’re not doing this for the hunting, are you?”
Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Vote:
The Teacher asked Little Johnny,
"How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?"
Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
Vote:
What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”.
The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!”
The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?”
The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”.
The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?