Q:Did you hear the joke about the rope? A:Just skip it.
An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.
A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
10 Facts About You: 1. You're reading this now. 2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid. 9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8. 10. You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again. 11. You're enjoying this. 12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
I'm tired 8 days a week.
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.
Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I'd bring back Walt Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction...
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...!
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then voice in my head says: "Haha nice one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.