Joke #7281

This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.” The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”

Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.

Two blonds were driving to Disneyland. The sing said: Disneyland Left. So they started crying and headed home.

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," re plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 — are you ready?” Barbara: “Sure, I’ll have a go!” Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it... A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.” “I think I know who it..but I’m not 100%… No, I haven’t got a clue. I’d like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure. Regis: “Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone? Barbara: “I’ll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.” (ringing) Maggie (also a blonde): “Hello…” Regis: “Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer — fire away Barbara.” Barbara: “Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it: A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush” Maggie: “Oh Gees, Barbara that’s simple…..It’s a Cuckoo.” Barbara: “You think?” Maggie: “I’m sure.” Barbara: ” Thanks Maggie.” (hangs up) Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?” Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C-Cuckoo” Regis: “Is that your final answer?” Barbara: “It is.” Regis: “Are you confident?” Barbara: “Yes fairly, Maggie’s a sound bet.” Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo …you’re right! – You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.” (clapping) That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks “Tell me Maggie, How in God’s name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest? Maggie: “Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.

Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."