Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ?
Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
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A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house.
Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you."
The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
Q: Why do women have tiny feet?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star.
She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case.
When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward.
"Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?"
"Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it."
"Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?"
"Mr. Evans deceived me."
"Exactly what do you mean?"
"See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Vote:
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday?
A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
Vote:
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant?
A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
Vote:
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
Money.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.