The best kids jokes

Knock Knock! Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin time for dinner!
Vote: has 65.73 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Vote: has 65.73 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.70 % from 395 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women, age
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
Vote: has 65.69 % from 236 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, kids
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sex, kids
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Halloween, health
Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad, marriage
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Vote: has 65.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, kids, age, old people, political
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids