The best kids jokes

Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Vote: has 63.98 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises? Or do they just smash it into their faces?
Vote: has 63.81 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, terrorist, kids, airplane
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Vote: has 63.79 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, student, school, teacher, math
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, beer, drug
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, food, god, life, husband
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kitty, baby
Mary's father has 5 daughters, 1. Nana 2. Nono 3. Nini 4. Nene What is the fifth daughters name?
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, dad, kids
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids