The best money jokes

Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
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Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
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A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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More jokes about: money, work, accountant
Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
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Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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More jokes about: marriage, divorce, money
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
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Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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More jokes about: accountant, management, money, accountant
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny. 'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever. 'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
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An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife. After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all. So she came downstairs completely naked. "Huh," said the old man, hugging her. "For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the damn thing."
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More jokes about: disgusting, wife, money
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
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More jokes about: wife, air force, phone, money, computer