The best sex jokes

Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Vote: has 55.19 % from 164 votes. Send joke: email
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Vote: has 55.10 % from 59 votes. Send joke: email
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
Vote: has 54.62 % from 96 votes. Send joke: email
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Vote: has 54.62 % from 283 votes. Send joke: email
A man is out shopping when he discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. He buys a pack and shows his wife. ‘They’re in three colours,’ he tells her, ‘Gold, silver and bronze.’ ‘So what colour are you going to wear tonight?’ she asks. ‘Gold of course,’ replies the man. ‘Why don’t you wear silver?’ replies his wife. ‘It would be nice if you came second for a change!’
Vote: has 54.04 % from 65 votes. Send joke: email
A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
Vote: has 53.64 % from 113 votes. Send joke: email
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
Vote: has 53.38 % from 49 votes. Send joke: email
Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
Vote: has 53.34 % from 157 votes. Send joke: email
What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
Vote: has 52.91 % from 8 votes. Send joke: email
Flashlight A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 52.49 % from 117 votes. Send joke: email

1 ... 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 ... 28

Are you returning visitor?

Have fun with our newest jokes.