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The best sex jokes

Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
Vote: +1-1 has 70.31 % from 494 votes. Send joke: email

A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute. The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall. He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected. The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
Vote: +1-1 has 70.26 % from 674 votes. Send joke: email

Q: What's a man's definition of safe sex? A: When his wife's out of town.
Vote: +1-1 has 70.18 % from 356 votes. Send joke: email

A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
Vote: +1-1 has 70.17 % from 291 votes. Send joke: email

Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. "I suppose," she said, "that now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread." "Why?" said the young man. "Don't we have a vase?"
Vote: +1-1 has 70.11 % from 533 votes. Send joke: email

A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
Vote: +1-1 has 69.53 % from 181 votes. Send joke: email

A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
Vote: +1-1 has 69.27 % from 208 votes. Send joke: email

Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
Vote: +1-1 has 69.22 % from 243 votes. Send joke: email

"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Vote: +1-1 has 69.21 % from 858 votes. Send joke: email

The four words most hated by men during sex? ‘Is it in yet?’
Vote: +1-1 has 69.18 % from 735 votes. Send joke: email


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