The best technology jokes

A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, parrot, technology, god
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology, IT
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, technology, IT
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, phone
What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S? 4Skin.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, phone
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, technology
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, party, geek, coding, technology
A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV” “No” “Why not?” “Because your a blonde.” So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “Your a blonde.” So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “You’re a blonde” “How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!” “Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, customer service, technology
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, phone
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology