A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel.
He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled"
The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Vote:
"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub.
He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes.
Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition."
"The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?"
Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words."
There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address.
She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
Vote:
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
Vote:
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
This guy comes back from the toilet, when a women says to him, "Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open"!"
As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,"Did you see my big black hummer?"
The woman replies, "Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires."
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.