Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road.
"You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and a drunk are in a bar when they spot a hundred pounds on the floor.
Who gets it?
The drunk – the other three are mythological creatures.
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?"
"The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Yo mama so ugly when she looked at the sun, it turned nighttime.
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Vote:
Yo mama's so stupid she tried comiting suicide by jumping of a tall building but got lost on the way down.
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant?
A: He's had a loophole named after him.
Vote:
You mama so old she made yoda look young.