What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
On a pair of boxers:
Caution!
Contains nuts.
Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
Yo mama is so fat, it says to be continued, when she gets on a weighing-machine.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin.
I remember my guidance counselor.
The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."