The best animal jokes

Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, animal, insulting
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
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More jokes about: animal
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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More jokes about: animal, Valentines day
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
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More jokes about: cowboy, animal
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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More jokes about: animal, death, Chuck Norris
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, work, golf, animal, age
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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More jokes about: men, husband, dog, animal, time
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
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More jokes about: animal
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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More jokes about: animal