"Pa's being chased by a bull!"
"Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?"
"Get me some film for my camera."
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A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event.
The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said,
"Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
What is the most famous shark?
William Sharkspeare.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?
A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
Vote:
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out.
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.