How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"