The best car jokes

A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, car, couple
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, travel
One day a Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late. The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show, and then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in. The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "Just go on and take me to jail..... there's no way in the world that I can pass that test.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, car
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
Vote: has 56.50 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, car, driving
What’s the difference between a nigger and a car tire? The tire doesn’t sing when you put it chains!
Vote: has 56.41 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car
Why do black people lean to the center of their car? "They think the smell is coming from the outside."
Vote: has 55.65 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, car
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, sex, car
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, mechanic, car, stupid
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, car