The best computer jokes

Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
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More jokes about: IT, geek, computer
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." The passenger asks "Who?"  The cabbie says "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "Yeah. But there are always a few clouds over everybody."  Cabbie says "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano." The passenger replies "Sounds like he was something really special"  Cab driver responds "There's more... he had a mind like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out." Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"  The cabbie goes "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them." "Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."  Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. And he's never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"  Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time, car, golf, computer
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
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More jokes about: dentist, computer, IT, geek
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, computer
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, computer, programmer, animal
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
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More jokes about: IT, programmer, computer