The best dirty jokes

Man comes home to his wife and says to her: "With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh.t." "But I don't have a new pair of glasses..." she replies. "But, I do."
Vote: has 62.30 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
Vote: has 62.30 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music, Christmas
What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.
Vote: has 62.19 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf.
Vote: has 62.19 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Vote: has 62.10 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Vote: has 62.10 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote: has 61.93 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, black people, white people, kids, party
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
Vote: has 61.92 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, celebrity
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, gay