A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck.
The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.
"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.
"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
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Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
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How do you know when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
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I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget?
A: A spec.
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Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
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Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
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What's grosser than gross?
A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
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