How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.