When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"? Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life. The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies. He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened. The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes. The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black? The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
What goes: "Click-is that it? Click-is that it? Click-is that it?" A blind person with a rubix cube.
Basketball is the perfect game for a black person. All you do is run, shoot and steal.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.