Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said: Whats up wet backs. The first mexican said: I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts. The second old man said: What the hells that smell, smells like beanery. The second Mexican replies: It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco bell. The third mexican says: YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Bell. The third white guys says: I was talking to the bean, not the whole damn burrito.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on. He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!! " The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this gives you the full use of your penis." Great I'll do it. Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date. He feels a rustle in his pants. So he just ignored it. It happens again. So he figured it just needed some air. So he unzips his pants to let it out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table. His date stared in complete awe and said " Can you do that again". He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."