My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Your mom's so fat she sat on Big Lots and it turned into Lowes!!!
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here.
He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and "Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Yo momma so fat she thought planet earth was her stomach.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.