Q: How do pirates make their money?
A: By hook or by crook!
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Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus?
A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender looks down and says, "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate replies, "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts."
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt.
After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon.
The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Q: Why are black people, pirates?
A: Because they go nigarrr.
Vote:
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral.
The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
What are Women Really Thinking?
So many men, so few who can afford me.
Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares?
And your point is?
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.