If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”.
“Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
What do you do for exercise?
I lift weights.
What do you do for cardio?
I lift weights faster.
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow.
He said he can't walk.
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Boy: "Really?"
Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
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A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while."
The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.
Q: Who is brave?
A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
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