What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."
Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny." Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."
Why did the little Greek boy run away from home? He didn't like the way he was being reared.
Q:What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar? A:"Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
What do you call a gay guy with a sixteen-inch d**k? A pain in the ass!
What''s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo? At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I've had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"
What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
Gays don't fart - their asses fetch a sigh.