Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Similar jokes
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A kid asks his father:
Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed?
Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig.
She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
Q: What kind of kids do you get when a black and a Mexican marry.
A: Kids too lazy to steal.
Vote:
Q: Why do two skunks argue?
A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies,
"Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success."
Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly."
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons.
One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble.
One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek.
Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred.
Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes.
Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Playing a game," the boy replied.
"What is your name?" the officer questioned.
"Mind Your Own Business."
Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!"
The boy replied, "Why, yes."
A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday.
She opened it up and it was a tea pot.
She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you."
The boy said "That's good."
Mum said "However I already have a tea pot."
The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."