Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!
‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation. Can you help me?!’ ‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
How do girls get minks? The same way minks get minks.
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’