The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Why does a squirrle swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all