After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded.
The couch says to him:
You should better take a decision!
You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
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Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand.
The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies.
"He beats me."
The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear replies.
"She beats me too."
So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?"
Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world?
A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"