It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!