Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
On their bunnymoon.
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests.
A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer.
"Get to work," the store-keeper urged.
"I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared.
When this had been provided:
"Now give me a quart of whiskey."
Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly:
"Now show me the cellar."
An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store.
His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted:
"Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Vote:
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?
An encownter group.
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!