Joke #3380

When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
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has 13.71 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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has 31.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, relationship
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 63.65 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political